Teresa was an extraordinary person. I met her when I was little more than a child and ever since she has been a part of me.
She immediately struck me as the most positive person I had ever met. She was always smiling and welcoming events of life with enthusiasm, even what is commonly considered as bothering or worrying. And she was kind and caring with people, including me, which enchanted me totally. She really listened and cared for what I said, and although the first time we met I was practically a stranger and an almost inarticulate teenager she would comfort me and give advice in that characteristic way of hers: warm, affectionate and never judgmental. Then, during the happy years of our friendship, she also shared a little part of her memories with me, which created an indissoluble bond which will last beyond life and death.
I may make a few examples of the way she faced life. She told me about some of the little difficulties she had met, which correspond to anyone’s difficulties facing new steps in life, for example meeting her future husband’s family or organising the budget of a new household. The aspect she mentioned of any fact was the one of feelings and, invariably, every episode was narrated with affection. The love for her family is something she will always be remembered for, what will give her life as long as her family live. I remember her talking about the happiness she felt when she was with her children. While a friend of hers and myself shamelessly confessed that our children’s first day of school had been a welcome temporary relief from the sweet burden of motherhood, she had never for a minute felt the need to be far from her children because she totally loved their company. What an extraordinary love it must be that allowed her to be happy to live at a distance from them when they became adults. But that was because they never felt any distance between them. Her children returned that splendid love with devotion. During her illness I have witnessed a constant presence that not even children living close by can sometimes offer. The love for her husband needs no example but I will hint at the way she told me about his getting rid of all her favourite kitchen gear while she was in hospital. Any other wife would have been traumatised and resentful but she told the episode with a sincerely amused laugh. Nothing could be a more convincing proof of love!
I have spoken of her family but I am happy and honoured to say that I feel a part of that family. Although I love my mother I may say that Teresa is the mother I chose, and that the mutual election has formed that indissoluble bond I mentioned before. The time we spent together, the ideas, the recipes, the advice, the loving warnings, have shaped me. Through our sharing of experiences, facts and feelings I feel as if, in a way, she adopted me into her family. After the first stay- a chance collocation of a school- I chose to go and stay with Teresa and Roland again. They were there at my wedding and Teresa came to see me when my first child was born. Teresa and Roland came to see my new house and I was so happy and proud when Roland said that it didn’t seem so different from their home. That was the best compliment he could pay me, the acknowledgment of a loving bond. The roast, the Wisteria, the porcelain and me, we have all been inspired by her and I, by her and her, my family. I could tell of the conversations with Matthew and John. Suffice to say, she told my son Bruno that a mother is one’s best friend. That she was for her children, lucky them, lucky us all who met her.
Isabella
Isabella
13th May 2020